it’s time to be civil (25)


# 16. Apologize earnestly. … When we apologize, we acknowledge that we did something wrong and work at repairing the damage. Apologies should be thoughtfully conceived, clearly stated, and heartfelt. They need not be long and elaborate, but should convey that we know exactly what we did wrong, that we understand the effects of our actions, and that we are not looking for excuses. …

Why is it so difficult to apologize? Because to articulate and earnest apology we need to win a struggle with our own pride. Thinking that apologies put us in a position of weakness, we often wait for others to apologize first. When we bring ourselves to apologize, however, we discover how cathartic it is.

Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct by P.M. Forni (St. Martin’s Press, 2002); pp. 106,108

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