Tag Archives: respect

Apr 27 2013

toward a Christian community covenant for Facebook

 

I’m currently leading a Bible class on the subject of civility in all aspects of life, our digital/online life included. Having always been impressed with the Comment Community Covenant on the Sojourners website*, I’ve shamelessly robbed the wording of most of it, added a bit to it, and converted it into a rough draft of a covenant for Christian involvement with Facebook.

This covenant has seven points and currently reads as follows:

1. I will make it a point to look for what is truly excellent and admirable on Facebook, focusing my attention on whatever is true, holy, just, pure, lovely, and/or worthy of praise in the eyes of God. I will not contribute anger, filthy language, lust, malice, pride, or, rage to this online community.

2. I will remind myself often that I need not post on Facebook just anything or everything that comes to my mind. When I do post, I will do so with the Golden Rule in mind, mindful that my perspectives, pictures, and words can profoundly affect others. I will do no drama.

3. I will not pay close attention to the number of friends I have on Facebook nor will I continually court the acquisition of new friends on Facebook, as if counting coup. All is vanity.

4. I will express myself with civility, courtesy, and respect for every member of the Facebook community, especially toward those with whom I disagree, even if I feel disrespected by them.

5. I will not cause my heart needless trouble by continuing to allow an obnoxious friend’s overbearing Facebook status updates to appear in my news feed. When it is best for my own peace of mind, I will unhesitatingly hide their posts from appearing in my news feed. If necessary, I will make use of block, delete, or unfriend.

6. If after due consideration I feel I simply must express my disagreement with an idea or view of another Facebook member, I will do so without without insulting, mocking, heckling, belittling, or slandering them.

7. I will not exaggerate others’ beliefs nor make unfounded prejudicial assumptions based on labels, categories, or stereotypes when conversing publicly or privately with others via Facebook. I will always extend the benefit of the doubt, assuming the best.

Facebook can be a remarkable tool … for both good and evil. It’s all in how you use it. May it always be with civility.

Tell me, what would you change or add to the preceding seven covenant points?

* You can see an example of the Sojourners’ Comment Community Covenant at the bottom of this page on their site.

Mar 14 2013

this went thru my mind

 

Church decline, Churches of Christ & mission: Future Church

“… I want to talk about the way forward … at least where it begins because I don’t believe in waiting around for the bells to finally toll.”

Discipleship & Jesus: What If Jesus Was Serious?

“What if Jesus was serious when he said: Love and pray for your enemies, do not judge others, give to the poor, and don’t worry about your life?”

Gospel: The Gospel: Far More Than a Key to the Front Door

“… the gospel isn’t something we need only to become a Christian.”

Legalism: Legalism: Old and New Perspectives [essential reading]

“Legalism is any practice or belief that is added to the gospel that compromises the sufficiency of Christ as Savior and jeopardizes the adequacy of the Spirit in moral guidance. Secondarily, then, legalism demands that one adopt a group’s special markers in order to be fully acceptable to God.”

Mental health & religion: Religion is a Powerful Resource for Good in Mental Health

“Dr. Harold Koenig is one of the world’s most prolific scientists in psychiatry and medicine. … Within the period of 1878 to 2010, he found over 3,000 empirical studies in the literature across these three centuries. Amazingly, nearly 2,000 of them have been published in the last decade—from 2000 to 2010, pointing to a significant interest in the mental health field about the role of spirituality in health. Koenig found that nearly 75%—three cases of every four—showed a positive relationship between spirituality and physical or mental health. A deep and active faith, in other words, translates to robust health, good mental health, and a long and satisfying life.”

Ministry: Losing a Game We Deny We are Playing

“One result of the toxic brew of Kingdom and American values in our churches is a high degree of confusion and anger among ministers. Many are profoundly worried there is something wrong with themselves while they long for the kind of affirmation they know to be bad for them.”

Morale, productivity, respect & trust: Want Productive Employees? Treat Them Like Adults

“Distrust begets distrust in return. It kills motivation rather than sparking it. Treat employees like children and you increase the odds they’ll act like children. You reap what you sow — for better and for worse.”

Poverty & taxes: In the South and West, a Tax on Being Poor

“When it comes to state and local taxation, we are not one nation under God. In 2008, the difference between a working mother in Mississippi and one in Vermont — each with two dependent children, poverty-level wages and identical spending patterns — was $2,300. … These regional disparities go back to Reconstruction …”

Mar 11 2013

civility is the respect of the Christ we wear

 

Civility.

What a word. Not extinct, but certainly endangered in our time.

How is it this word has virtually vanished from so much of what claims to be Christian representation or conversation?

Humor me and reflect on it with me for just a moment, won’t you?

If Christians are the embodiment of God’s love, then surely the clothes that body wears must be civility.

Or to use the metaphor of Scripture itself, Christians are God’s people clothed with Christ. If this is so, then surely civility is the respectfulness and the modesty of Christ, our apparel.

If there is nothing greater in the world than God’s love, then civility is one way his people express his love, magnificently so in terms of simplicity and wondrously so in terms of effect.

Further, since the way we love all others gives evidence of our relationship to Christ, ought we not as Christians then excel in civility, like no one else to compare?

And if we as Christian will do so for no one else, should we not seek to excel in it for the sake of those yet to believe?

For if those who are yet to believe do not first encounter civility in our ways with them, how then will they come to see anything further of God’s great love for them through us? Will they not rather, be blinded, if not repelled, before they can even grasp his goodness?

Yes, civility must then be the vanguard of our expression of Christ’s love. It is what makes the ever important “first impression” with all with whom we have dealings. It is what provides conveyance of the aroma of Christ in us. It is then, our first love language, forming our words that are most truly heard and remembered.

May all who wear the name of Christ consider their ways carefully in terms of civility without ceasing and may his words, and those of his Spirit, speak afresh to us with penetrating power:

“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.” (Matt. 22.37-40)

“Love is patient, love is kind … it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable …” (1 Cor. 13.4-5)

“… with humility think of others as better than yourselves.” (Phil. 2.3)

Mar 9 2013

what is civility? (#1)

 

Tomorrow morning I’ll lead the 20/20 class at MoSt Church in the start of a study of civility. This first session is entitled What Civility Is and Is Not. Following are twenty questions and ten Scripture texts (along with a pointed reference in Sirach in the Apocrypha) that came to me as I prepared for tomorrow’s session.

Twenty questions

1. What is civility? How would you define it? Can you think of synonyms or words that are components of it?

2. What is civility not? That is, what sort of behavior is sometimes confused with being civil?

3. Is civility limited to what we give to humans or is it also something we can extend to all of creation?

4. What is the goal, or the objectives, of being civil?

5. What happens to a people as they lose civility? What happens when you take “civility” out of “civilization?”

6. What benefits accrue as people grow increasingly civil toward others?

7. Would you say civility is generally on the rise or on the decline in our nation? What evidence would you offer?

8. In what ways do you commonly see incivility paraded and applauded today in our society?

9. Is it possible to be a truly mature adult, to be fully human, and not habitually practice civility toward others? Similarly, is it possible to love as a Christian and not show civility?

10. Tell us of a recent experience in which someone’s civility made a real impression on you.

11. Would you say civility is growing or shrinking among Christians in our country today? Why?

12. Is civility primarily inward, outward, or both? What happens if we make it only one or the other?

13. It’s easy to be civil toward people with whom we share a close, positive relationship. And we can understand how it’s often hard to be civil toward those with whom our relationship is negative. But why is it sometimes hard for us to be civil toward strangers, people completely unknown to us?

14. What does our willingness, or unwillingness, to extend civility to someone say as to how we value human life?

15. Many who are civil have few convictions. Many who have convictions aren’t civil. What does this say to you?

16. What Scriptures come to mind when you consider that Christians should be known for their civility toward all?

17. Do you have to “like” someone in order to treat them with civility?

18. How does Christian civility differ from nationalism and ethnicism?

19. We’re often uncivil toward others without even knowing it. How can we minimize that occurrence?

20. How can heightened awareness of God’s constant presence affect someone’s practice of civility?

Ten texts

Don’t mistreat or oppress an immigrant, because you were once immigrants in the land of Egypt. Don’t treat any widow or orphan badly. (Ex. 22.21-22)

You must rise in the presence of an old person and respect the elderly. You must fear your God; I am the Lord. (Lev. 19.32)

The righteous care about their livestock’s needs, but even the compassion of the wicked is cruel. (Prov. 12.10)

A sensitive answer turns back wrath, but an offensive word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15.1)

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands. (Matt. 22.37-40)

Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. Instead, associate with people who have no status. Don’t think that you’re so smart. … If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. … Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good. (Rom. 12.16,18,21)

Love is patient, love is kind … it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints … (1 Cor. 13.4-5)

… submit to each other out of respect for Christ. (Eph. 5.21)

Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves. (Phil. 2.3)

… learn how to control your own body in a pure and respectable way. (1 Thes. 4.4)

One quote

“Put yourself in your companion’s place, and be considerate in everything. Eat what’s put in front of you like a normal human being, and don’t chew rudely, or you will be hated. Be the first to stop, to show your good breeding, and don’t be gluttonous; otherwise, you will offend.” (Sirach 31.15-17)