Tag Archives: civility

Apr 27 2013

toward a Christian community covenant for Facebook

 

I’m currently leading a Bible class on the subject of civility in all aspects of life, our digital/online life included. Having always been impressed with the Comment Community Covenant on the Sojourners website*, I’ve shamelessly robbed the wording of most of it, added a bit to it, and converted it into a rough draft of a covenant for Christian involvement with Facebook.

This covenant has seven points and currently reads as follows:

1. I will make it a point to look for what is truly excellent and admirable on Facebook, focusing my attention on whatever is true, holy, just, pure, lovely, and/or worthy of praise in the eyes of God. I will not contribute anger, filthy language, lust, malice, pride, or, rage to this online community.

2. I will remind myself often that I need not post on Facebook just anything or everything that comes to my mind. When I do post, I will do so with the Golden Rule in mind, mindful that my perspectives, pictures, and words can profoundly affect others. I will do no drama.

3. I will not pay close attention to the number of friends I have on Facebook nor will I continually court the acquisition of new friends on Facebook, as if counting coup. All is vanity.

4. I will express myself with civility, courtesy, and respect for every member of the Facebook community, especially toward those with whom I disagree, even if I feel disrespected by them.

5. I will not cause my heart needless trouble by continuing to allow an obnoxious friend’s overbearing Facebook status updates to appear in my news feed. When it is best for my own peace of mind, I will unhesitatingly hide their posts from appearing in my news feed. If necessary, I will make use of block, delete, or unfriend.

6. If after due consideration I feel I simply must express my disagreement with an idea or view of another Facebook member, I will do so without without insulting, mocking, heckling, belittling, or slandering them.

7. I will not exaggerate others’ beliefs nor make unfounded prejudicial assumptions based on labels, categories, or stereotypes when conversing publicly or privately with others via Facebook. I will always extend the benefit of the doubt, assuming the best.

Facebook can be a remarkable tool … for both good and evil. It’s all in how you use it. May it always be with civility.

Tell me, what would you change or add to the preceding seven covenant points?

* You can see an example of the Sojourners’ Comment Community Covenant at the bottom of this page on their site.

Apr 18 2013

this went thru my mind

 

Apologies, civility, & humility: The Sorry State of the Apology by Dorothy Greco

“The apology seems to be at an all-time high, and simultaneously, an all-time low.”

Attitude, church, expectations, ministry & vision: 10 Dangerous Church Paradigms by Ron Edmonson

“I’ve been in church all my life. Along the way I’ve seen and learned a lot. Almost all the insight I have into church has come by experience. I have observed, for example, that paradigms can often shape a church’s culture. A paradigm in simple terms, is a mindset; a way of thinking. In this case, a collective mindset of the church, often programmed into the church’s culture. If the church is unhealthy part of the reason could be because it has some wrong paradigms. In that case, it will almost always need a paradigm shift in order to be a healthier church again.”

Bible interpretation, hermeneutics, & humility: CENI – Having a Humble Hermeneutic by Matt Dabbs

“My goal in this post is to … to remind us that we must be humble in how we interpret scripture and what we bind or don’t bind on other people.”

Cell phones & privacy: Create a Temporary Number

“Burner gives you a free number that lasts for one day, five voice calls or 15 texts. If you need more, you can buy a new number or extend your current number for a few dollars. Calls and texts don’t count against your monthly limit. The app allows you to permanently delete – ‘burn’ – any number at any time. This takes it out of the service and permanently deletes it from your phone.”

Climate change, ecology, environment, global warming, & preachers: New Research on Protestant Pastors’ Views of the Environment

“When asked to respond to the statement ‘I believe global warming is real and man made’ …”

Culture, history, immigration, prejudice, & the United States: Why I’ve Stopped Saying ‘We are a Nation of Immigrants’ by Kevin Miller

“As innocuous as it sounds, the ‘nation of immigrants’ line is an abbreviated version of the prevailing narrative of national origins that makes white people like me the norm while making others, well, ‘others.’ Without appearing to do so, it subtly shapes my thinking about
who is and isn’t a true or real American.”

Evolution & science: Biological Evolution: What Makes it Good Science? (parts 1 & 2)

“Is the contemporary theory of evolution an example of good science? The answer to this question completely depends on how you define ‘science,’ and what you think makes science ‘good.’ … In conclusion, when measured against the standards of a good scientific theory, modern evolutionary biology clearly qualifies as good science.  Ongoing debates within evolutionary biology exist about mechanism, rates, and causes, but not over whether evolution occurred.  Such a question has been largely settled by the last 150 years’ worth of research.”

Grandparenting: A Letter to the Grandkids On Baptism by Mark Woodward

“Grandad would just like to write this letter to all of you, those baptized already and those who will be.  These are just a few things I really want you to know about your baptism that I’ve been thinking about.”

Leadership: Leading From Psychological Brokenness

“The High Calling talked to four experts about how psychological pathologies impact leaders and their organizations. In a series of four articles, we’ll examine the topic. First, let’s explore what we mean by psychological pathology.”

Marriage: So What IS Marriage by Patrick Mead

“… if you think THIS is complicated, wait until you study a bit and see how complicated sexual identity is.”

Mar 17 2013

how to prevent rudeness

 

Let’s say your task is to try to convey to someone the essence of all that it means to practice civility. If it helps get you  into the frame of mind, by all means, imagine a specific scenario you could find yourself in.

It could be that you’re a parent and you’re teaching your child something of manners. Perhaps the “someone” is yourself and you’re trying to become far more deliberate in your habits of behavior toward others, perhaps even toward your aging parents. Or maybe you have a friend who has come to you for your counsel on how they can get along better with others with whom they have a difficult relationship at home or at work.

Now this is vital. You want to word your advice concisely and clearly so the person can grasp it and perhaps even remember it for a very long time to come. What all would you say, and how would you say it all in, let’s say, fifty words or less?

In a fine work entitled The Civility Solution, the author, P.M. Forni does something just like that as he offers us all “eight rules for a civil life” toward “preventing rudeness” (pp. 28-44) I reproduce them below for your careful reflection. I’ve taken the liberty of adding to them eight passages written by the apostle Paul, a man who, like the rest of us, had to learn what it meant to be civil. Each of these texts came to my mind as I read each of Forni’s rules.

May God lead me, and all of us, more and more toward a civil life, I pray.

1. Slow down and be present in your life.

“… be careful to live your life wisely, not foolishly. Take advantage of every opportunity …” (Ephesians 5.15-16a)

2. Listen to the voice of empathy.

“… as God’s choice, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3.12)

3. Keep a positive attitude.

“… brothers and sisters, if anything is excellent and if anything is admirable, focus your thoughts on these things: all that is true, all that is holy, all that is just, all that is pure, all that is lovely, and all that is worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4.8)

4. Respect others and grant them plenty of validation.

“Brothers and sisters, we ask you to respect those who are working with you …” (1 Thessalonians 5.12)

5. Disagree graciously and refrain from arguing.

“Avoid foolish and thoughtless discussions, since you know that they produce conflicts. God’s slave shouldn’t be argumentative but should be kind toward all people, able to teach, patient …” (2 Timothy 2.23-25a)

6. Get to know the people around you.

“We were glad to share not only God’s good news with you but also our very lives because we cared for you so much.” (1 Thessalonians 2.8)

7. Pay attention to the small things.

“Say hello to each other with a holy kiss.” (Romans 16.16)

8. Ask, don’t tell.

“… brothers and sisters, we ask and encourage you in the Lord Jesus to … do better in how you live and please God …” (1 Thessalonians 4.1)

Mar 11 2013

civility is the respect of the Christ we wear

 

Civility.

What a word. Not extinct, but certainly endangered in our time.

How is it this word has virtually vanished from so much of what claims to be Christian representation or conversation?

Humor me and reflect on it with me for just a moment, won’t you?

If Christians are the embodiment of God’s love, then surely the clothes that body wears must be civility.

Or to use the metaphor of Scripture itself, Christians are God’s people clothed with Christ. If this is so, then surely civility is the respectfulness and the modesty of Christ, our apparel.

If there is nothing greater in the world than God’s love, then civility is one way his people express his love, magnificently so in terms of simplicity and wondrously so in terms of effect.

Further, since the way we love all others gives evidence of our relationship to Christ, ought we not as Christians then excel in civility, like no one else to compare?

And if we as Christian will do so for no one else, should we not seek to excel in it for the sake of those yet to believe?

For if those who are yet to believe do not first encounter civility in our ways with them, how then will they come to see anything further of God’s great love for them through us? Will they not rather, be blinded, if not repelled, before they can even grasp his goodness?

Yes, civility must then be the vanguard of our expression of Christ’s love. It is what makes the ever important “first impression” with all with whom we have dealings. It is what provides conveyance of the aroma of Christ in us. It is then, our first love language, forming our words that are most truly heard and remembered.

May all who wear the name of Christ consider their ways carefully in terms of civility without ceasing and may his words, and those of his Spirit, speak afresh to us with penetrating power:

“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.” (Matt. 22.37-40)

“Love is patient, love is kind … it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable …” (1 Cor. 13.4-5)

“… with humility think of others as better than yourselves.” (Phil. 2.3)